WLM Spotlight Sunday – Pete Sortwell

Pete Sortwell SS


Pete Sortwell:  Right then, I’m here.

Charlotte Smith:  Everybody else is still asleep Pete but I’m here so we can talk about Papillion

Pete Sortwell:  Ok, what is your best memory of it ?

Charlotte Smith:  Well I’m still bothered that he left his beautiful Indian family and his little slice of paradise and ended up back in that dump.

–I’ve got your book on my list to read too

Pete Sortwell:  Oh yeah, he did. The swine. I thought banco lost something that was in the first book.

–Ooh, which one?

Charlotte Smith:  Village Idiot Reviews. How many have you written Pete?

–Banco was very dull compared to Papillion

Pete Sortwell:  Erm, *puts fingers to work*

–5 idiot review books

–2 rom coms (sometimes love.. Series)

–3 father diary book

–2 fictional memoirs of a drug addict

–And a couple in a pen name I’m far to embarrassed to mention..

–2 of the above mentioned are not published as yet tho

–Yes. I thought he lost his drive

Charlotte Smith:  Wouldn’t you have loved to meet Henri Charriere? Wow that’s a lot of books – busy man

–Is writing your full time job or a hobby?

Pete Sortwell:  I think it would now fall into the category of second job now, Charlotte.

–I think in some ways we did. Although I always Remember of that saying about meeting your heros…

Valerie Robson:  Morning to you both! Is this a private conversation or can anyone join in?

Pete Sortwell:  Yeah come on in Valerie how are you?

Charlotte Smith:  Welcome Valerie Have you read Papillion?

–Pete – if writing is your 2nd job what is your 1st?

Pete Sortwell:  Brace yourself it’s a long title….

–I’m the Volunteer, Peer Mentor and recovery champion co-ordinator for a drug and alcohol charity.

Shirley Ledlie:  Morning Pete

Valerie Robson:  No not read Papillion!

–Where is everyone today, it is ten here in Zim and, unusually so, overcast and cold? I have to log on to these sessions early or my little phone loses them. So just carry on and ignore this reader, not writer… xxx

Pete Sortwell:  Morning Shirley how are you?

Charlotte Smith:  That sounds fascinating Pete and very worthwhile

Pete Sortwell:  I enjoy it most of the time

Shirley Ledlie:  Good thanks apart from my hubby is suggesting all the jobs we should be doing in the garden as it is such a beautiful day. How are you? are you looking forward to your Author spot?

Charlotte Smith:  Valerie don’t go. We’re finished with Papillon now – but do read it if you ever get the chance

Pete Sortwell:  I’ve just got a few jobs out the way in between posting. We’re selling the house soon and getting very close to the dreaded de-clutter, which basically means I have to throw my stuff out

–Yeah I’m looking forward to meeting you all.

Charlotte Smith:  Haha know that feeling well Pete……you’ll throw it out and then start collecting stuff again

Shirley Ledlie:  I am new to this group Pete and I don’t know anything about your books -sorry- but I aim to read everyone’s although I am a slow reader. I will get there in the end. I would like to know, as you have written a lot of books, do you ever have more than one on the go at the same time?

Julie Haigh:  Shirley, I can highly recommend Pete’s Diary of an expectant father, Diary of a hapless father and Diary of an inexperienced father. fictionalised memoir? but Pete, do you have children and are these books based on some of your experiences as they are so perceptive? Do you design your own book covers? The diary ones in particular are fantastic.

Pete Sortwell:  I’ve tried it Shirley but it never really works out for me. I’ve several unfinished works which were started that way, but I always fall more into one book than the other. It’s easier to live in one fantasy world than two. When I’m writing I spend most of my thought time in the world of the book, which I suppose is why I only manage to work on one.

Julie Haigh:  and Pete, I hope there will be more of these Father Diaries!

Pete Sortwell:  Hi Julie, my wife just read the diary books and I had to remind her they were fiction.

–Her reply…

–‘I know you changed the names’

–A lot of the experience is lived or watched/read about. I needed to be careful that when my daughter is older she knows it isn’t her, although she helped form it

–I will say, the birth and the failings of the hospital in the book are very true to life. I felt rather than waste my time complaining and getting a shrugged shoulder response, I’d note it in the book.

–I don’t do the covers and these days I have less input than I used too. My artist is excellent and I usually phone him, tell him what I’m thinking and he somehow makes it happen. I’m particularly proud of ‘who likes short shorts’ as it’s got all the people from my books and stories all wandering about.

–There is going to be one more, which I’m writing at the moment. However it won’t be out for a while.

Julie Haigh:  that’s great, I look forward to the next then

Pete Sortwell:  I haven’t got a name for it yet. I’m considering changing them all to ‘hapless’ as that was the name the first one was going to be.

Julie Haigh:  how about diary of a more experienced father lol

Shirley Ledlie:  Do you find it easy to think of book titles?

Julie Haigh:  I like the titles of the others as they are though

Pete Sortwell:  Shirley , sometimes. Dating In The Dark: sometimes love just pretends to be blind was a title for about 18 months before it was a book, the follow up Bride And Gloom: sometimes love is better of blind was actually a suggestion from a fan of the first one. I was stumped with it and was ready to publish when it came through

–Julie , yeah I like them, I think I just need to make it clearer where each come in the series.

Julie Haigh:  well where you’ve put like 0-3 months etc ages on each one makes it clear I think

Pete Sortwell:  I know, I just like tinkering

— Just got this email through. I’m not sure what they’re suggesting.



Jacqueline Brown:  Morning Pete, sorry I’m late. Also sorry I’ve not read you yet. I’m particularly intrigued by the Village Idiot books as I’ve spent the last ten years living in a small French village. It can be fun and frustrating at the same time. I’m just back from a gossipy trip to the boulangerie, would you like a croissant?

Rowena Cardwell:  Hi Pete Sortwell, hope you are well. Not sure if this question has been asked yet or whether I missed the answer, but just wondering what part of the world do you come from and what is your inspiration?

Pete Sortwell:  Jacqueline, yes please on the bread based snacks. I grew up in a village. Although not a French one. The local dialect did sound a bit French though.


–That was my first self published book. I actually wrote it to make myself laugh after a bereavement. It’s very much a marmite book so be sure to read the sample before chucking your money at it

–Rowena , hi I’m from Northamptonshire. I suppose it’s just people and life, things I wish of said, might have said, found funny. Although anyone making life change inspire me

Jacqueline Brown:  I love marmite, but not with my croissant. I like that you wrote it for you. I blog about our French life and bringing humour to the times that are not idyllic is like therapy. I’m off to check out the book now.

Rowena Cardwell:  Thanks Pete. Jacqueline Brown, I do not like marmite at all. Vegemite all the way thanks.

Jacqueline Brown:  By the way, if you weren’t being harangued by the females of this group (are the men all having a lie in?) what would you usually be doing on a Sunday morning?

Pete Sortwell:  I’m doing it now too just playing with my daughter. I’ve got someone coming to see me at 11 so will be off for an hour. I’ve got a little comp to keep you all busy though.

Micki Stokoe:  Hello Pete! I love the idea of having a pet sofa. Is this what you sit on to write? Why Jeff?

Pete Sortwell:  It is yeah when I’m not in my office anyway. Jeff, because who doesn’t love Jeff?

Jacqueline Brown:  Ha, multi-tasking Facebook with parenting! I do that too, however my 13yr old would rather spend his weekend shut in his room playing his guitar than interacting with me!

Pete Sortwell:  We’re playing this at the moment.



Julie Haigh:  Marmite or not- the format for village diaries is ingenious- don’t think it’s been done before. (I won’t say what so as not to spoil it for anyone who doesn’t know)

Victoria Twead:  MASSIVE APOLOGIES, Pete, for not introducing you! I’ve had no internet this morning (serves me right for living up a Spanish mountain) and I guess Alan Parks has none in his part of Spain either. Thank you for doing it yourself! Looks like we weren’t needed as you are doing very well yourself!

Micki Stokoe:  Do you work full time as well as write?

Pete Sortwell:  Julie, It hadn’t at the time, not sure anyone has tried since either, but there are plenty of letter books which came before me, the Henry Root letters and of course Dear Coca Cola by my friend Terry Ravenscoft.

–I do, Micki, yeah. My writing time is less and less these days to be honest. I got the new job, which is management level about 3 weeks before my daughter came along and both seem to be more and more time consuming as they grow. Which I can’t complain about. The writing was only ever meant to be one book just to prove I could. It’s moved on a bit since then though. I’m too scared to pack in the day job though as I’m still waiting for someone to come along and tell me to stop dreaming and get back to the real world, and for it all to stop.

Julie Haigh:  sort of like that then but a more up to date format then. I don’t think anyone’s done it anyway.

Pete Sortwell:  Victoria, no worries, I wasn’t sure of the process and didn’t want to be the guy who didn’t show up

–Yeah, I think half of it was a poly so I could do it all in first person but have different characters too.

Julie Haigh:  as usual done nothing but be on WLM yet so better get in shower and give my grandson more attention! Enjoy your spotlight day Pete, you’re doing great!

Pete Sortwell:  Cheers, Julie. Have fun with your grandson. I’ve just waved my daughter off, she’s off to see some other Czech babies today so I’ll see her later.

Micki Stokoe:  Extra hours in the day needed! Your books have obviously taken off, though, & congratulations on reaching No 1. Do you enjoy your job, or would you ideally like to be a full time writer?

Cherry Gregory:  Hi Pete, just read your thread and you’re doing great. Your books sound fascinating. I’ll search them out on Amazon later. Did you used to write stories when you were a child? Was being a writer something you always wanted to do?

Pete Sortwell:  I like my day job and most of all it brings security. Ideally, I think everyone would like to write full time, I might be wrong but I’m certainly one of them. It’s just there’s a lot to take into account for me. I spent a few years being skint and not knowing where the next pair or pants was coming from so I won’t be going back that way while I have a choice. One day maybe, if a big contract is offer Number one? Do you mean in the humour chart?

–Hi Cherry, Thanks, I hope you enjoy what you find. For you and anyone else who would like to sample anything, Who Likes Short Shorts, is my short story collection and has samples of my other books in. It’s free on Kindle all the time so an option for you I used to tell a lot of lies as a child, does that count? I’ll tell you about the time I swam the channel later if you stick around. I was only five.

Micki Stokoe:  Yes – I was reading your blog post! There’s a lot to say for job security – that broke feeling is awful.

Pete Sortwell:  Right then people, I’m about to go off for an hour or so. So here is the first competition. It’ll run until 1pm when I’ll pick a winner. There are a certain number of cats in this photo. So the game is to find them all and then PM me a number. I will then put all the right answers together and randomly pick a winner who will get a signed copy of any of my books (bar So Low So High). Have fun and see you in an hour or so. Pete



Cherry Gregory: Your Who likes Short Shorts sounds great. I’ll read that first. Ha Ha! I think lying as a child was a very good start for a fiction writer! You were half way there. Looking forward to your channel adventure!

–Thanks, Pete. I’m getting my cat Thomas to help me find the cats…we may be some time!

Victoria Twead:  You have a really awesome cover artist, Pete, and I shall start cat counting! good competition!

Becky Corwin Adams:  Good morning Pete!

Angela Clifford:  Hi Peter how long have you been writing?

Pete Sortwell:  Hi guy’s I”m back now. I have had 3 people send me numbers. Keep them coming…

–Cherry, Thanks for the entry

–Morning, Becky. How are you?

Charlotte Smith:  Will get my magnifying glass out now.

Pete Sortwell:  Hi Angela, I’ve been writing almost four years to the day. I wrote the first chapter of So Low So High on the 24th April 2010. Before that I’d done little other than write my name on most desks I’d ever sat at and once the banister at home, with a compass, making my dad think we had woodworm.

–Good Luck, Charlotte. FB seems to have blurred it a little on the upload so I think it’s harder to see them all. 30 mins left. I’m off to get a can of red bull from the shop. be back in ten. I’ll be writing while talking to you this afternoon. Then later at about 3:30 I’ll be getting the roast pork sorted out for when the ladies return

–I’m back again now. 4 entries… 13 mins left for anyone wanting to join in

— I’ve just liked everyone’s comments to make your notifications look like mine

Becky Corwin Adams:  Pete, you have an impressive collection of books!

Micki Stokoe:  Do you like cats? I’ve just got Short Shorts & look forward to reading it. You mentioned writing for the screen. What is your favourite tv comedy?

Becky Corwin Adams:  Pete, I just hopped on over and liked your author page.

Janet Hughes:  Hi there, just going to read through your fred

Pete Sortwell:  Ok guys the first comp of the day is over. I’m just going off to add up the scores.

–I am indifferent to cats, Micki. The artist was staying at his partners family home while doing the work and added them as they had six cats.

–My all time favourite TV comedy is Bottom with Rik Mayell and Ade Edmonton.

— Janet, you’re killing my notification centre I think it will melt down

— Hi guys… I have had 5 people enter but unfortunately no one got it right. There are six cats, as I just gave away… However if you can all wait until I get the copies from US where they print them, I will send all five of you a copy. Happy with that? Anne wine o’clock, Charlotte, Shirley, Micki & Cherry ?

Micki Stokoe:  Love ’em or not, they are good selling agents! I liked the Young Ones but wasn’t as keen on Bottom.

Frankie Knight:  I also haven’t yet read your book but certainly intend to now! I’ve often thought the Old Fellas in my village think I’m nuts, especially soon after I moved in and started planting 2 tomato plants, 1 courgette, 1 melon, 1 Cucumber in my garden and did it the English way. They would come and look and go off scratching their heads. Everyone plants by the several dozen here!

–My question is – what do you get from being a member of this group?

Charlotte Smith:  Haha, I counted 6 but reckoned that I must have missed at least 2!! That’s very generous of you Pete and of course I don’t mind waiting

Micki Stokoe:  Wow, yes – thank you!

Frankie Knight:  Charlotte, I also counted 6!

Janet Hughes:  Well, not one of them offered you a drink! *stomps through to kitchen, starts rifling through cupboards and the fridge* Here you are Pete *smiles winningly at Pete* and you lot! *peers over glasses at other fred members* no drooling over the food! …again!



Micki Stokoe:  I added a couple for luck too!

Pete Sortwell:  Frankie, Village people are the most interesting to watch! What do I get from here? I like seeing what people have to say about books they’ve read. I’m certainly enjoying talking about myself today and being able to communicate with readers. Most of the time it’s a one way street. I write the book, readers sometimes leave reviews, neither is really open lines for communication. Other than that I do love interesting memoirs so I’m hoping to read some of them too.

Micki Stokoe:  But you do it so well, Janet!

Janet Hughes:  Thank you Micki

Pete Sortwell:  I don’t actually drink alcohol but I will have some of that fine looking red stuff at the back. No one touch my plate while I go fetch it

–Frankie, did you find 6 before 1pm?

Jill Stowell:  Hi Pete. Why do you get your books printed in the US rather than UK – is it cost or quality?

Janet Hughes:  So Pete, now you’ve been fed and watered, I wonder if I might ask you a wee questionette? That was rhetorical, I’m going to ask it anyway…. just trying to think of a really good one… oh yes that was it… If money was no object, where would you go to live and why?

Pete Sortwell:  I’ve got a copy of Bride And Gloom: sometimes love is better off blind here… Who wants to tell me a funny wedding/stag or hen story for the chance to win? There’s only one and I’ll choose a winner about 4pm

Janet Hughes:  Ooooo sounds a good deal, what do we have to do to get our grubby little mitts on it Pete?

Pete Sortwell:  Good Question, Jill. I used to use a service called lulu that print here but it is more expensive for the buyers, also the quality of the books and paper are so much better with the service I use, Createspace. There is also quicker updates if I need to change something as it’s an Amazon company. I’ve just canceled The Village Idiot Reviews which was at Lulu and am now able to move it over to CS. Which is why it’s getting a little update to the cover and will be part of spot the difference at 6pm.

Jill Stowell:  Is the formatting for Createspace relatively easy for a self publisher?

Pete Sortwell:  Janet, I’d stay in Northamptonshire where I am now. But I would buy something like this and have little houses dotted round the estate for my friends and Family, if they wanted to come and live there. I’d also have runway and plane to fly my wife and baby to Czech to see their parents/grandparents whenever they felt like it.

Janet Hughes:  Another quiz !!!! *jumps up and down in excitement* can’t wait !!



Pete Sortwell:  Jill, yeah I think so. I don’t do a lot of it myself to be honest. I downloaded a file for the size of the book I wanted and sent it to my formatter who then, I think* just plopped the text into the file, jigged it about a bit and sent it back to me for upload. I much prefer using CS, albeit by proxy.

Janet Hughes:  It looks wonderful Pete, a great place to write in and a fabulous family home

Pete Sortwell:  For those interested my artist has just put circles on where the cats are. I can’t even do that on Photoshop. Not that I own a copy, but I couldn’t do it if I did.

Pete Sortwell:  Janet, Yeah it would be nice. There was the option to lease the top floor flat in a house like that near me for the price I was looking to buy a house, but it wasn’t really practical. And I’d have to give it back when the lease ran out.

Jill Stowell:  A man who delegates huh? Now I see why you’re in management. This may have been asked already but is your wife Czech? or are her family ex pats living there?

Micki Stokoe:  Have you always lived in Northamptonshire?

Pete Sortwell:  Haha, I decided long before I self published that I would ‘team’ publish. I’m not good at most things other than writing so bringing people together who are good at the other stuff seemed like a plan. I was very lucky to find the team I did. And at the time of putting out The Village Idiot Reviews, when no one knew if that particular book, or indeed my writing was something that would work, it was a real gamble to do that. Again, I was lucky that everyone involved agreed to help me out in return that if it worked I’d be back and more work would come their way. I’m very happy and proud to say i’ve been able to live up to my word on that and everyone gets what they are due now.

–My wife is from Czech yeah, so little Lilly is half Czech. They go there a few times a year to see Lucie’s side of the family.

–I’ve been here most of the time, Micki, I did spend three months in Luton once, but I’d rather forget about that

Janet Hughes:  Mluvíte česky?

Pete Sortwell:  come on!

— I’m going to guess and say that means ‘do you speak czech’ and the answer is no.

Janet Hughes:  Qué?

Pete Sortwell:  I know, and excuse the spelling ‘Yaksamash’ Which means how are you, I remember it more from Borat though. Much to my shame

Janet Hughes:  Well done Pete and your daughter to, že mluví česky?

Pete Sortwell:  She will do, she’s just one at the moment so her language is pretty much ‘baby’ but she’ll speak both when she can.

Micki Stokoe:  Tha what, Janet? My brother went to Oundle school.

–Phone at critical stage! I’ll be back once it’s charged a bit!

Jacqueline Brown:  Popped back for a cuppa, been busy in the garden! My funny wedding story is more funny odd than funny ha ha, but here goes. 17yrs ago I got engaged to my best mate. We met in a Mini car club, bought the engagement ring in Ireland on a Mini car event, had Minis on the invites, used our Mini’s and a friends convertible Mini as the wedding cars, had wedding cakes modelled on our Minis and even asked if we could put a real Mini in the reception hall (we couldn’t). Oh also our son has Cooper as his middle name. I hope I raised a smile!

Pete Sortwell:  Micki, That’s where I went to senior school too

–Would you say you’re an enthusiast, Jacqueline?

Jacqueline Brown:  Maybe a little. We are planning an 8 day road trip later this month taking in the south of France in the Mini Cooper to celebrate the cars birthday!

Pete Sortwell:  Just for you, Jacqueline



Jacqueline Brown:  Why thank you. I’ll have to buy it now!

Pete Sortwell:  I think you should buy the same Sticker as Father Frederick has in his

–You lot are going to be the first to see the updated cover of the first Village Idiot Reviews book at 6pm. Brace yourselves.

Jacqueline Brown:  He he! Ours says Get in, Sit down, Shut up, Hang on!

Pete Sortwell:  Have you ever driven one with a turbo in?

Pete Sortwell:  Looks like my artist is here if anyone wants to ask him anything… Gray …

Jacqueline Brown:  I’m a girl! I know how to work the radio and where to put the key!

Gray Lock:  ?! Oh good grief no, I merely wanted to enjoy reading about your day, Pete.

Pete Sortwell:  Everyone, Gray is well keen to answer questions. hahaha.

Gray Lock:  Excuse me while I add a ‘consultation fee’ to your next invoice, Pete

Pete Sortwell:  Cancel questions to Gray.

— Gray, shall I post my hand drawn version of TVIR to show people what you have to put up with?

Gray Lock:  Now THAT would make for a fun ‘Spot the Difference’ competition!

Janet Hughes:  Gowan… Gowan… Gowan… Gowan… Gowan… Gowan… Gowan… Gowan… Gowan… Gowan… Gowan… Gowan… Gowan… GOWAN!!!!!!! Please ?

Pete Sortwell:  Shame I’ve only got it in PDF…

Victoria Twead:  Gray Lock, I absolutely love your covers. You are really talented.

Janet Hughes:  Hey Gray, you the one I added earlier?

Pete Sortwell:  I think it was by the time we did Dating In The Dark that Gray knew me well enough to say, in response to my question ‘what do you think of my art work’ , ‘I don’t think you should call this art, Pete’

Gray Lock:  In my defence I don’t call my own work ‘art’, Pete. I just draw stuff. And thank you to all those who’ve said nice things about the covers in this thread, that’s all been very gratifying to read, much appreciated.

Julie Haigh:  Yes Gray, I also think you’re covers are absolutely brilliant!-I already commented about the Father Diary ones earlier in the day but they’re all really distinctive.

Gray Lock:  Julie Haigh, thank you, I’m just hoping they continue to be so well-received and that Pete continues to send me more intriguing challenges. Nowadays he just sends me a list of all the bizarre and wonderful characters appearing in his latest book and I go through a few pages of my sketchbook trying to figure out how to bring them all together.

Janet Hughes:  Right I’m off for wee dozette, I’ll fill up your notification box later Pete

Susan Joyce:  Pete, good morning from Uruguay! Enjoying the fred. If you write like you speak, your books must be fun. Have you ever done stand-up comedy?

–Gray Lock, fun to get to know you as well.

–Pete Sortwell, writing comedy is one of the hardest forms of the craft. You can have a great sense of humor, but capturing that in writing takes a different kind of skill. Not to mention timing. Did you have special training?

Pete Sortwell:  Hi Susan, I have actually done some stand up. I wanted to do it for ages and kept putting it off. Then in January, through my writing I was offered the chance and seeing as it was on my bucket list, I thought that if I said no, I wouldn’t just be putting it off, I’d be actively avoiding it so did it. I’ve since done it twice more, once in a comp, which was terrible… I’m next doing it in May. to be honest, though, I don’t have the time to put into it at the moment. I’m happy I did it though.

— I didn’t no. What I would say is that I think my dyslexia helps in that sense. Hard to explain why. to do with thinking in pictures and the way I think overall. Hopefully it works.

–Right, anyone else got any funny wedding/stag/hen stories before 4pm or are you going to let Jacqueline Brown walk away with the prize ?

Susan Joyce:  Pete, I’m also dyslexic and definitely believe it’s a gift because one sees things differently than others do. I think in pictures also. Fun. Wait! I do have a fun story about meeting my spouse. I’ll send it.

Pete Sortwell:  Fun fact: More than 50% of NASA employees are dyslexic, hired for their superior problem -solving and spacial awareness skills

Susan Joyce:  Pete, do you want me to share the story here or send it PM to you?

Alison Teeshirts:  running around like a nutter today Pete but i hope all is going well?!

Pete Sortwell:  Share it here id you want, Susan

Susan Joyce:  While living in Frankfurt, a travel magazine asked me to do an article on the republic of Malta to showcase its charm. While there I took a photo of an old carved wooden door in the old city of Mdina. When I returned to Frankfurt, I wrote my impressions about Malta and submitted it along with my photo of the door to the editor. She liked my article, and to my surprise chose the door photo to accompany it. Years later, in Germany, I met my future husband-to be. One evening while getting to know each other, we discovered we had Maltese adventures in common. He asked to read my article and when he saw the photo asked me if I had really taken the photo. I assured him that I had. It was quite a shock to discover that he taught art at the International School there and actually lived behind that door at the time I snapped the photo.

Jacqueline Brown:  That is spooky Susan.

Shirley Ledlie:  Susan that is incredible coincidence! Life can be very strange

Susan Joyce:  I took it as a serendipitous gift from the stars. We’ve been together now for almost 30 years and are a creative team.

–Pete, now it’s your turn to tell us how you met your wife/partner. I’ve started writing a book about such unusual encounters … where the universe steps in and gives a nod to perfect partnerships.

Pete Sortwell:  We met in a pub, not so much of a good story. She was there, I was there, our friends were dating so we met. That’s about it really

Susan Joyce:  Nah! Had to be she liked your sense of humor … or something.

You can tell us. (All ears waiting)


A bit later …

Pete Sortwell:  Right it’s 4pm and there’s been two entries for Bride And Gloom: sometimes love is better off blind. I’m not going to choose between the both of you, so Susan and Jacqueline PM me your address and I’ll send you both a signed copy.



Jacqueline Brown:  Thank you so much. Pm is on it’s way.

Susan Joyce:  Yea Jacqueline! We’re both winners. Thanks Pete! I’m sure to enjoy it. Love the cover image!

Gray Lock:  Mm, that one wasn’t made from one of Pete’s ‘legendary’ sketches, unlike it’s predecessor.

Susan Joyce:  BTW, you have to accept my friend request in order for me to send a PM.

–Uh-ho Gray. Is there trouble in paradise?

Gray Lock:  On the contrary, Pete is my most considerate client and I enjoy working for him enormously. Besides, if he could draw for himself he wouldn’t need me!

Pete Sortwell:  Graham loves working out what I mean by way of my drawings.

–Gray, I can’t convert either of the drawings to Jpeg to post, can you?

–Christ, I forgot this was an international forum. There goes lilly’s pocket money on international post (joke)

Cherry Gregory:  Thank you, Pete, for the spot the cat competition and prizes! That’s very kind of you. Somehow, Thomas and I found a seventh cat! We got a bit carried away!

Susan Joyce:  Pete, no problem. I’d enjoy an ebook just as well.

–Cherry, I thought I saw more than 6, but wasn’t sure. Thought the cats kept moving around.

Pete Sortwell:  I’m joking, I’ll send you a paperback

–If it was wearing a blue hat, it wasn’t a cat but the artist, Gray, who put himself on there dressed as a cat

Susan Joyce:  Seriously Pete, I know you’re joking but I’d be quite happy with the ebook.

Gray Lock:  As requested, Pete



Pete Sortwell:  there we go guys. See why I need a team around me?

Gray Lock:  Heh heh. I’m off to go put the finishing touches on the new version of MVIR, so enjoy, Pete.

Pete Sortwell:  We’re doing a new version of MORE??

Susan Joyce:  Pete, thanks for sharing your adventures with WLM today! Gray, enjoyed meeting you as well. Thanks for taking time to tell ‘almost’ all.

–Thanks too for your book. I look forward to reading it. I love to laugh.

Pete Sortwell:  I’m slowing down now though there’s more important things in life that the work ice been doing for the last 18 months. Thank you though

Susan Joyce:  Pete, what’s your blog?

Pete Sortwell:  www.petesortwell.co.uk

–The site is unfinished, I’ve not even listed my books on there yet, but the blog is up and links to most of the interviews I’ve done over the years.

–The pork has just gone in this end. What’s everyone else having ?

Susan Joyce:  Thanks Pete!

Sue Clamp:  We’ve already had lunch here. Parsnip soup, carne en salsa de almendras (pork in almond sauce), strawberries and cream. All washed down with cava as it’s a special occasion. The thread’s going well, Pete. Sorry I haven’t been around much. It’s been a bit of a busy weekend at Chateau Clamp!

Micki Stokoe:  Not having a Sunday dinner today – my OH is at work! I think lamb is my favourite roast, though. I’ve just read the stories at the beginning of Short Shorts & loved the twists!

Sue Clamp:  Yum, I love lamb!

Pete Sortwell:  No worries Sue. Happy birthday

–I like lamb but the bonus of Pork is the crackling

Sue Clamp:  Do you enjoy cooking, Pete?

Pete Sortwell:  I do, but I prefer to be cooked for

–Glad you enjoyed, Micki. I enjoyed writing them back when it was a hobby.

Sue Clamp:  What’s your favourite meal?

Pete Sortwell:  Core, that’s asking something… Erm… There is an italian in Northampton that does a steak to die for. Their rack of lamb is pretty good too. I have to say though, I do love USA fast food.

Sue Clamp:  You couldn’t be a vegetarian, then?

Susan Joyce:  Pete, what’s your favorite USA fast?

Pete Sortwell:  I like Taco Bell and Wendy’s.

–Also NYC pizza is good.

–What’s yours?

Pete Sortwell:  Sue, no way.

–Right, while we’re waiting for Gray to finish messing about let’s post a youtube vid each of something that makes us laugh. I’ll go first. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbTVSx9lAOw

Micki Stokoe:  That’s epic!

Sue Clamp:  I love this! http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tgbNymZ7vqY

Pete Sortwell:  Micki, so much pain


Janet Hughes:  Here’s mine http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AMpugNjTKk

Pete Sortwell:  Good videos guys

Micki Stokoe:  Do you watch You’ve been Framed?

Pete Sortwell:  I used to, I noticed though, most of the clips are years and years old now.

–Right, as promised in the title, two copies of the new version of this (when delivered) spot the difference. Just comment here with a number…

Photo#11-VillageIdiot Covers


Janet Hughes:  16

Micki Stokoe:  15

Muriel Fingler:  16

Gray Lock:  Hm, looks like they’re all missing a few of the subtler ones…

Pete Sortwell:  Ooooooh, guy’s Gray is helping you… I’m going to put the pictures on my blog too, if it’s easier to zoom in. We know FB messes about with the pictures.

Micki Stokoe:  Up to 20!

Muriel Fingler:  25 now!

Janet Hughes:  Revised bid 27

Cherry Gregory:  35?

Pete Sortwell:  In case you need to see them bigger… I’m not sure why but they seem to have gone greener when uploading, that isn’t one of the differences http://petesortwell.co.uk/?p=136


Susan Joyce:  31

Pete Sortwell:  This is where I wish I’d counted them myself

Janet Hughes:  So it’s only the front cover and not the spine or back… * shakes head, and starts counting again*

Pete Sortwell:  My pork is nearly ready

— It was all of it. I’ve just realised I didn’t put both full covers on the blog sorry

— to make up I’ll tell you all the ones of the spine and rear..

Muriel Fingler:  Back to 23 then using the blog photos.

Pete Sortwell:  How many USA based folks have we got? I.e people with USA audible accounts?

Muriel Fingler:  US account but not audible yet.

Pete Sortwell:  My phone isn’t showing me the latest comments. I’ll be back in about half hour

–Would you like to open one with a free audiobook from me, Muriel?

Muriel Fingler:  OK will check it out and get back to you.

Pete Sortwell:  Muriel, Janet, Susan, Cherry, Micki, You can all have a copy. PM me your address and a note that says Village Idiot and I’ll post you them as soon as they come. If you also got a WLSS please note that too

Micki Stokoe:  Thank you again! Bounces happily….

Pete Sortwell: l I’ll be here for another 2 hours if you guys want to asking me something.. I’ll be turning in after that though. Busy day tomorrow.

Julie Haigh:  You’ve been amazing Pete, such an entertaining day!

Janet Hughes:  West Lothian Soccer Sevens?

Sue Clamp:  I’ve really enjoyed reading through the thread. Thanks for today, Pete!

Muriel Fingler:  I now have an account and I sign in with my Amazon.com account.

Janet Hughes:  What a fabulous fred !! Pete you’re the best

Photo#13-Thank You!


Micki Stokoe:  A big thank you, Pete! I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the chat!

Pete Sortwell:  I’ve sent you a code, Muriel.

Anne Wine O’clock Durrant:  Thanks for taking pity on me with the Cats Pete. I have just arrived in Greece and have been waiting for the man to turn on the wi-fi. Which he has done – but it is so slow. I have read every word of your day. Wow you are an interesting guy. I am planning on doing lots of reading for the next 3 months and I know I have one of yours on my kindle.so am looking forward to reading it.

Muriel Fingler:  Thanks so much Pete, totally enjoyed today and looking forward to the listen. Where do I find the code?

Susan Joyce:  Pete, you were FAB all day! Great getting to know you and your work. Thanks for a super interview and all the fun gifts!

Pete Sortwell:  Muriel, you should have it in your inbox, check ‘other’

–No worries guys I’ve a page on here and the link to my site is up there ^. so we can keep in touch, here, there, where ever

Muriel Fingler:  Got it duh!

Pete Sortwell:  hope you enjoy

Victoria Twead:  Pete, thanks so much for an awesome Sunday Spotlight! Really entertaining Fred, brilliant! We’ll be adding it to the WLM blog soon in case anyone misses it.

Pete Sortwell:  Thanks Victoria If any late comers have questions I’m here for another hour

George Mahood:  Great thread Pete. Sorry I missed it. Looking forward to reading your books. I’m a fellow Northamptonian so all of my qqs would have been very dull for everyone else. Like… which is the Italian restaurant that does the steak you like? Gian Biaz?

Briannjulie White:  wow Pete, thats a very long fred, but very interesting that could be a wlm record!

Pete Sortwell:  George, it’s called Sorentinos. It’ son the edge of gold street. You can take me one day if you like…

Pete Sortwell:  I don’t think I’m at the record yet, Briannjulie.. Ask me more I’ve given up doing the writing I planned

–I’ll ask a question seeing as how there’s an hour of the day left. Who thinks this cover could do with a complete overhaul? It’s essentially a Romcom but I think it needs a new blurb and cover to fit more in with the other books in the genre.



George Mahood:  Ah, I know it well. I’m more of an Imran Balti Hut man

I moved down to Devon last Aug but still come back to Npton v regularly for work. See you at Sorentinos soon.

Pete Sortwell:  Is that round the back of the Chron? I went there last year I think. it’s a bring your own booze kinda set up?

George Mahood:  No, that’s Balti King. Imran’s is opposite Co-op on the Welly rd.

Pete Sortwell:  Oh yeah I know it. I used to live round the back of there. Clarke road.

George Mahood:  Imran is BYO too though.

Pete Sortwell:  Everywhere used to be when I drank

George Mahood:  I really like that cover. Looks v professional

Pete Sortwell:  including the co-op

–Yeah I like it too, I just think I might need to make it slight more erm… I don’t know

Briannjulie White:  sunflower yellow……..

Pete Sortwell:  It certainly wouldn’t be missed at that colour

George Mahood:  Maybe aquamarine?

–I don’t even really know what that is. Sounds nice though

Pete Sortwell:  Maybe, I’m thinking new font and complete overhaul really.

— Brilliant. I didn’t either but thought I’d gloss over incase you did

George Mahood:  Off topic, but I got really nostalgic about Northampton this week when I read this story..


Pete Sortwell:  If that’s no Lil I’ll give £10 to the next person I see pissing in the street.

George Mahood:  I think 50p Lil died didn’t she? Perhaps that lady pictured above ate her.

Pete Sortwell:  Did she? I didn’t know that.

George Mahood: It might be an urban myth. She’s probably still going strong, although due to inflation (and her popularity) she’s now known as 50 quid Lil

Pete Sortwell:  I haven’t seen her for years to be honest, she was always hanging about drinking fosters

–Ah, Free country is yours. I knew I recognised your name

George Mahood:  They’ll be a statue of her and her Fosters built in the market square one day soon.

Pete Sortwell:  Maybe that’s what that woman was doing

Pete Sortwell:  I feel sick my self now

George Mahood:  Haha, me too. It’s what Lil would have wanted.

Right, I’m off now. Good to chat Pete. Sorry to everyone else for polluting this thread with Northampton based drivel.

Pete Sortwell:  Ok mate, speak soon. People are learning all about the literary capital of the UK

— Right, it’s midnight. That’s it for me. Thank to all who came and said hello. I’ll see you soon. Pete

Terry Bryan:  Great Fred!



Next day …

Cherry Gregory:  Thanks for a great thread, Pete. I really enjoyed it and learnt a lot about your books.

Frankie Knight: To reiterate what others have said – great thread yesterday Pete! Just curious how you found time to eat, etc?


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