Alan Parks: We Love Memoirs
Today we have a Saucy Spotlight Sunday for you! Today is your chance to ask Jacky Donovan anything you like! Please make sure you have a cold drink on stand-by, and hold on to your hats…..
Janice MacLeod-Lik: Welcome to the spotlight! Can you give us an idea of what your book is about?
Julie Haigh: Right, good morning Jacky Donovan, good morning everyone! Hope you enjoy your day in the Sunday Spotlight!
Valerie Robson: Yes please, about the book. With a title like that it could be about being a mum, or a stripper… lol xxx
Julie Haigh: Just a quick question-do you like to see men in uniform or in a smart suit our something? I actually think men look cute in those all in one zip up blue boilersuits like eg car mechanics wear ha ha!
Frankie Knight: I reckon it’s the latter (hoping so anyway!!). I’ve not yet read your book Jacky but am really looking forward to getting stuck in soon…. Assuming it is along the lines of my suspicions, what led you into this line of work? Incidently – good morning Jacky!
Alison Charlotte Moore: Morning Jacky, another one on my Bulging kindle. How do you learn how to wield a paddle and flail so they don’t scar?
Anne Chapman: Good morning from Bonnie Scotland Jacky i havnt read your book yet but now added it to my wish list what an interesting life you have had.
— I have so many books i want to read i just hope i live long enough to read them all lol
John Searancke: Good morning, Jacky. Greetings from a dull and cloudy Tenerife north, where I hope that you will brighten our day.
Cherry Gregory: Good morning Jacky. Hope you enjoy your day in the spotlight. I look forward to learning more about your book.
Charlotte Smith: Morning Jacky – enjoy your day in the spotlight. I suspect we’re all going to be educated today!
Jacky Donovan: Good morning everyone from a sunny Gran Canaria where I’m looking forward to answering all your questions. Hard to believe that 17 years ago I was a shy frumpy wallflower and now I’m going to lap up the attention of being in the spotlight
Jacky Donovan: Julie Haigh I actually love to see a man in smart business suit, collar and tie. So a dumb move coming to Gran Canaria where the vast majority are in casual clothes.
Frankie Knight: Same here up on my mountain in Andalucía! Baggy pants, sewn with patches and weird headgear are the order of the day!
Jacky Donovan: Frankie Knight The book covers some of the truly bizarre sessions I had with my submissive clients while working as a dominatrix and is set against a backdrop of my personal life which was somewhat different, to say the least. It’s not the usual – I slapped this one / kicked this one – sort of domination tale as you’ll see from its introductory blurb: What happens when you swap M&S shoes for S&M boots?
–An MP with a choux fetish.
–A Paddington Bear with a penchant for pinnies.
–A squirming Batman in baggy blue Batpants.
Frankie Knight: O.M.G! Where’s that book? Skip the one I’m already reading…..
Charlotte Smith: Choux pastry = profiteroles = yum!!
Frankie Knight: Je,Je,Je!!
–Not fair! Just as things start to happen I’m off out until mid afternoon!!! I’ll be back though to catch up….. Exciting!
Jacky Donovan: As to how I got into it – I was having a casual relationship with a girl and we both said we enjoyed wearing sexy clothes in private when with boyfriends. She found a leaflet for a club where the dress code was leather / PVC / uniforms so we duly trotted along in sexy high heels and tarty little skirts expecting a nightclub where people dressed a bit sexily. Sure enough that’s what we found… until we parted some black velvet curtains. And my life changed forever when behind them I saw a big burly man tied up and a woman bursting out of a tight corset whipping him. Suffice to say we loved it, discovered we were in a fetish club and I started going to them twice or three times a week.
–I was a senior manager with IBM at the time and always worried I’d bump into one of my employees Thankfully never did. After that I became Ops Director of a PC company and, when faced with climbing the career ladder to Managing Director or opening my own dungeon, I chose the latter not the ladder and have never regretted it!
John Searancke: What is a PC company, please?
Jacky Donovan: Sorry, a company that makes Personal Computers.
Charlotte Smith: Keep an eye on Frankie Knight Jacky – she gets over excited. Here are her meds if you need them!
Jacky Donovan: Yes Charlotte Smith choux pastry yum if you actually get to eat it… this client had other things in mind.
John Searancke: Jacky, what exactly persuaded you to move away from the security blanket of being a senior manager, with prospects, of a PC company to the huge risk factor of opening your own dungeon?
Jacky Donovan: Feel free to ask me ANYTHING by the way. I think by now I am pretty un-shockable. I’m tempted to ask have any of you tried a bit of BDSM (Bondage, Domination, Sadism, Masochism) but that’d probably be unfair of me in a public forum
Anne Wine O’clock Durrant: Morning Jackie – I love Gran Canaria – usually go at Xmas/New year to escape the UK cold. Porto Rico is my favourite – down by the harbour. I have your book on my Kindle you are next on my list to read. Am I going to have some sleepless nights with you in my bed
Charlotte Smith: Was there chocolate on the choux? I hate the thought of wasted chocolate!
John Searancke: Who wastes chocolate?!
Charlotte Smith: Santa bought me some fluffy handcuffs once – they were pink!
–Actually the chocolate probably wasn’t wasted at all come to think about it!
Jacky Donovan: Hi John Searancke I absolutely adored the power and control I got when I had an adoring submissive at my feet in front of me. Much more so than when I had a dutiful employee sitting across the desk from me! Being a sensible person at heart I did a full business plan for the dungeon – investigating the competition (what they did / where / when / their prices), scoping out the likely clientele etc etc – and even went to see my (somewhat shocked) bank manager. I stood to lose about £10,000 if it didn’t work but decided to give it a go. I opened up while still Ops Director and secretly took phone calls from prospective clients during working hours then saw them in the evenings or at weekends. I quickly saw how lucrative it could be so, faced with the decision to become Managing Director, chucked in the corporate suit and donned a PVC catsuit instead.
John Searancke: My wife has stopped me from eating chocolate because I am on a diet at present. Does this count as domination?
Charlotte Smith: John Searancke that is very funny indeed!
Jacky Donovan: I’m in Playa del Ingles Anne. It seems people here dislike Puerto Rico and vice versa. A bit like, having been brought up in Newcastle, we hated Sunderland and vice versa! I hope my book doesn’t give you sleepless nights – perhaps a few mind-boggling ones tho!
–Good old Santa Charlotte Smith. They never tell you THAT about him in the picture books I love your comment John Searancke
Charlotte Smith: I know you’re not a big fan of the 50 Shades books Jacky – did they come across as implausible to you or was it the style of writing that failed to impress?
Jacky Donovan: Have any of you read “50 Shades” btw? Mine is nothing like it
–Oops great minds think alike Charlotte Smith
Charlotte Smith: I did read them all but have to confess I found them very samey and a tiny bit irritating
Jacky Donovan: I disliked 50 Shades on many counts – the writing was very poor and irritating; the lead female Anastasia just didn’t seem plausible as she went from innocent virgin to excited spankee in no time at all; and as for Christian Grey… he was more like a submissive than a submissive, allowing Anastasia to rule the roost on numerous occasions.
–I’ve tried to make my memoir very real and picked out the more quirky aspects of fantasy role-play and – hopefully – made it into a very funny read too.
Cherry Gregory: Do you tend to be a dominant person in other sides of your life, Jacky?
John Searancke: Signing out now…but only for a couple of hours. Wife demanding coffee in the main square with friends. Oh dear, another example of domination! Pretty tame that, though. I hope that you guys will have got down to the nitty gritty by the time that I get back! Looking forward to catching up.
Charlotte Smith: But did you not fancy Christian Grey a little bit?
Jacky Donovan: Aha someone has come out of the WLM group closet and private messaged me to tell of their BDSM experiences How many more will do so by the end of today I wonder…
–Your wife sounds as if she’s in control today John Searancke
Charlotte Smith: It wasn’t me – ok everyone???? I use my pink fluffy handcuffs to lock my wine fridge
John Searancke: Yes, just for those 2 hours…after that I am back playing my usual masterful role…I like to think!
Jacky Donovan: Christian Grey was a bit too much of a wuss for me Charlotte Smith In my personal life I like a man with a bit of oomph and charisma who will keep me on my toes. The other side to my book is my roller coaster of a personal relationship with one such man…
–But I do have 50 Shades to thank for me finishing my book. I’d been dabbling at it for 10 years – ever since ‘Batman’ came to see me as a client! – but it was only when 50 Shades sold like hot cakes that I became so incensed that something so bad could do so well that I dusted off my laptop and finally completed my book.
Charlotte Smith: I feel a new book on my new kindle……..time for refreshments.
Jacky Donovan: This cartoon always tickles my fancy
Robyn Boswell: Lol went to buy the book on amazon.com and right underneath is an ad for Dream Whip Topping Mix – a little different methinks.
Judi Bedford-Keogh: Have you another book in the pipeline?
Jacky Donovan: Anybody celebrating anything today? I see it’s Flip a Coin Day / Heimlich Maneuver Day / National Go Barefoot Day / National Hazelnut Cake Day / Say Something Nice Day / Stand For Children Day
Anne Wine O’clock Durrant: I am celebrating being alive and well in my second home, Arillas Corfu living my dream
Robyn Boswell: Queen’s Birthday Holiday weekend in New Zealand (don’t ask why, I have no idea because it’s not the Queens Birthday at all.)
Jacky Donovan: Judi Bedford-Keogh I’m working on a totally different book currently – this time one for all the family I’m writing the autobiography of an heroic cat. And, yes, I am writing as if I AM the cat. Even tho I’m petrified of all animals, big and small. Humans I can cope with!
— My agent has also suggested I write a sequel to ‘Instant Whips and Dream Toppings’ but I aim to finish the cat one first before diving back into my own life.
Charlotte Smith: Why are you terrified of animals Jacky? And why write a book about a cat if you don’t like them? Come and meet my gang one day and I’ll teach you to love them. Mr Frog will help you with your new book!
Alison Charlotte Moore: So with you on the 50 shades Jacky and knew I could do better to. Draft is done, now need the time… Glad it got you focused and in print!
Jacky Donovan: I’ve no idea why I’m terrified of animals Charlotte Smith My brother trained to be a vet so it clearly had nothing to do with our upbringing. He gave up his vet job as he couldn’t stand the humans who brought their pets in for treatment so he and I are clearly opposites. (He then went on to train as a pilot and I’m scared of flying!) What a cute pic
Charlotte Smith: I think I’m more like your brother! Animals are much less scary than people
Jacky Donovan: Oh, and I’m writing about a cat as I found his story compelling and thought it’d be fun to write as someone else rather than me this time. He is the only cat to ever have won the Dickin Medal for bravery in war situations – the animal equivalent to the Victoria Cross.
Charlotte Smith: Now that sounds like a great story. When can I read it?
Jacky Donovan: I’m waiting to hear back from agents / publishers currently and if nobody takes it on then I will self publish it in October. Until I joined WLM I was a firm believer in having an agent (and have one for my own memoir) but having learned so much from you all about self publishing I can see many benefits of going that route. In particular the amount of flexibility you have as to where you offer it / what price / tracking sales etc.
–Anne Wine O’clock Durrant How much time do you spend in the UK vs in Corfu? I’m fascinated by the WLM map as there are so many people scattered across the globe and specially in Spain.
Judi Bedford-Keogh: I like the sound of the cat book. Will download Instant Whips. I didn’t fancy it at all but “listening” to you I think I might enjoy it
Jacky Donovan: Thanks Judi Bedford-Keogh I think at first many people think “nope, not for me”, but if you read some of the reviews it has you’ll find it’s a lot broader than just a tale of a woman in a somewhat odd job! Different people have liked different aspects of it – some go for the stories of my funny sessions with clients, others see it as an intensely passionate love affair (that’s my private life), some focus on the story of an unhappy and seriously depressed person who turns her life around in an astonishing way, and others still go for the humour.
–Have any of you started out with an agent and then chosen to self-publish btw? I’d be interested in hearing your views re the pros and cons.
— I loved many of the aspects of this article – think it helps sum up my choice of moving from London to Gran Canaria! http://www.buzzfeed.com/…/words-that-mean-something…
Judi Bedford-Keogh: Jacky that is so funny
Anne Wine O’clock Durrant: Jacky – this year we are spending 3 months, as we need to sell our house in UK. (I am writing a blog about it) next year it will be longer.
Jacky Donovan: Would you ever move abroad permanently Anne Wine O’clock Durrant or d’you like the UK too much to leave forever? I’m a bit of an all-or-nothing person so sold up in London to move here to ensure I threw myself 100% into building a new life. Fortunately it all worked out OK as it was a bit of a risk – I moved alone, knew nobody here at all and spoke not a word of spanish.
Anne Wine O’clock Durrant: We are keeping a small bolt hole in Grimsby, we are building a granny flat above my son’s garage, because my husband has quite a few health issues. We bought a campervan and are being travelling hippies at the moment while his health is OK. There will come a day I think when we will need to be static and I will need my family around me. So the answer is no, it was our dream to move abroad, but circumstances have changed since we got older.
Susan Joyce: Good morning from Uruguay, Jacky! Hope you enjoy your day in the Sunday Spotlight! I’ll read through the Fred and get back with a question, or two.
Jacky Donovan: Sorry to hear about your husband Anne Wine O’clock Durrant but great that you’re making the most of travelling while you can. Friends thought I was crazy moving from London when I did as I could’ve earned so much more £££ there had I kept my dungeon going but I wanted to move while I was still young(ish!) and healthy enough to enjoy Gran Canaria.
–Susan Joyce Uruguay! Now that’s somewhere I’ve never been! What took you there originally?
Charlotte Smith: Jacky, did you ever have any experiences that made you uncomfortable or scared during your life as a dom?
Becky Corwin-Adams: Good morning Jacky!
Jacky Donovan: My most uncomfortable experience was when an Indian gentleman wanted me to racially abuse him which I found quite shocking. I’m going to quote just a little from the book as I think perhaps it shows a little as to the psychology of some of the requests I get: “He wanted me to insult him with all sorts of racist slurs that made me feel uncomfortable even thinking them, let alone uttering aloud. But here’s the thing: who knows what in his past had linked this kind of racist humiliation to his sexuality? Who knows what issues he was working through? And apparently getting pleasure from? My job was to help him express those issues in a non-judgemental way, however much I hated saying the words he so desperately wanted to hear. And that’s the thing: this session is shocking, it is offensive. But I had learnt that sexuality doesn’t fit within any boundaries and sometimes what we most desperately desire is the thing that is most taboo and illicit. After all, it’s one of the main reasons people come to see Doms like me: to provide the forbidden fruits that they feel they cannot ask for from their partner.”
–Hi Becky Corwin-Adams How’s your Sunday? Feel free to throw any questions at me – anything from sane to bonkers
Becky Corwin-Adams: Just waking up here in the states. We had breakfast and now its almost time to take the dogs to the park for a morning walk, so I will pop back in later.
–Your cat story sounds fascinating. I wrote a short cat memoir from the cat’s perspective. I used to be a cat person (had 14) and now I have dogs (7). I hope I am not one of those humans that vet’s don’t like since I am there so much.
— I did have one scary session Charlotte Smith but I won’t say more or it’d spoil that part of the book for those who are going to read it. Oddly my personal life has been much more dangerous at times than my working life! Here’s an article I wrote for the Huffington Post about the top perils of my job which probably aren’t what people would guess at all. http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/…/sex-work-perils_b…
Charlotte Smith: Yes I can see that would be an uncomfortable experience Jacky. Did you mostly like your clients/ feel sorry for them/ respect or disrespect them?What emotional impact (if any) does being a dom create?
John Searancke: Hi! Back from coffee break, so greetings again to all. Will play catch up and hopefully come back with a question or two.
Charlotte Smith: Great article Jacky! Are you any closer to solving the ‘James’ mystery?
Jacky Donovan: I really liked many of them Charlotte Smith. Many called me their ‘therapist’ Some because they saw it as an opportunity to talk / moan / discuss problems they were having with family or work and, because I told them about my past ‘sensible’ career we were able to have intelligent discussions about work related issues. Others saw the session as ‘therapeutic’ as it gave them an opportunity to switch off their brains and do as they were told rather than making multi-million £ decisions all day. They found it relaxing – probably not how the average person would describe a dom / sub relationship until they had tried it…
–And I respected them for having the courage to explore their personal fantasies. Tho I struggle with the fact that most have partners who were unaware they were visiting me. I guess it’s not my problem, rather theirs. ..
–Hi John Searancke So your wife has let you come back out to play on WLM? Is she going to join us too with a question or three or does she leave you to do the typing?
–And it’s fair to say Charlotte Smith that I did want to giggle quite often when they explained their fantasy role-play sessions! But professionalism won the day, mainly because I’d hate anyone to tease me about things that float my boat.
–I think it’s a shame that so many people feel unable to explore their deepest fantasies with a partner. But have to be grateful as I’d go out of business if they could!
John Searancke: OK, Jacky Donovan! I have actually been known to think for myself, as well as doing the typing!! Sally wants to know whether you have been contacted by any terrified previous client who found out that you had written a book and perhaps included them in such detail as to identify them to their colleagues?
Jacky Donovan: Hi John Searancke I had the opposite actually – a client wanting to know if the best session he ever had with me was in the book. And, yes, it is! He was delighted tho pleased to see he was unidentifiable.
–Is there anybody in the group called James btw? Or someone who has a partner called James?? I’d love to know why they make the most unreliable clients!
— Everybody’s been very well behaved so far. Lunchtime and I’ve not had to threaten anyone with a spanking or the naughty step
John Searancke: I’m getting a bit worried at the fact that I seem to be the only chap on this thread!
— I do know a chap called James, so I am going to just pop out and threaten him!
Charlotte Smith: Wait until wine o’clock Jacky. That’s when this lot show their true colours