I was sitting comfortably in the lamp with my feet on Genie’s soft fat belly, watching the Olympics. (A doubting reader should note that this is a magic lamp and therefore anything is possible.) It will be remembered (see my previous Blog) that Miss Carrie Compton had usurped my position in the main house, following my dismissal by Vicky, The Dear One (TDO).
“Bawk! Bok Bok Bok Bawwwwwk!” was heard outside.
“What’s that noise, Genie?” I enquired of my fat pouffe.
“It’s the chickens. Making an alarm call, Oh Great and Glorious One.”
For the uninitiated, chickens will make alarm calls for the slightest reason. So sensitive are these creatures that even a passing flutterby will set them off. It is a great source of amusement to TDO that, every time she opens our back door, the girls are always alarmed, despite their coop being at the other end of the garden.
TDO: “You can come out of the lamp now, Joe! Miss Carrie has returned to the States. She missed her family too much.”
I emerge. I am a little miffed that she preferred Miss Carrie to me. But I am determined to re-establish my authority (and superiority) over TDO. Despite being absorbed in the Olympics, a plan had been hatching in my brain. It is simple but brilliant. Hypnosis! My strategy is to hypnotize the chickens and then make them do tricks for TDO. For me, the outcome is obvious: TDO will be terrified that I might do the same to her! She will fall at my feet and beg my forgiveness for relegating me to the lamp. Then I’ll be reinstated and reign as the sole master of our abode. TDO will be back where she belongs, in the role of slave. I doubted not the success of my scheme!
Joe: “Dear, I’m just going down the garden to check that all is well with the chickens.” In effect – Stage One of The Plan!
She pats me on the head and tells me that I’m a very good boy. Ha! We shall see just how good I am!
About ten seconds later the back door opens and TDO looks out.
TDO: “Joe? Are the chickens OK?”
Joe & Chickens: “Bawk! Bok Bok Bok Bawwwwwk!”