Old Fool’s Blog

Mouth-Watering Spanish Recipes coming soon!

Tue, 8 Nov 2011 14:02:39 +0100

Back in 2004, I nagged poor, long-suffering Joe into relocating to a tiny, remote mountain village in Andalucía, and my passion for Spanish food began. When I was writing 'Chickens', I wanted to include a few recipes given to me by the village ladies.

However, I wanted more. What a stroke of luck it was when I found Gayle and Iain! "Of course!" they said. "Help yourself! Use any recipes you want!" So I did, and ever since I have shamelessly plundered their recipes and expertise for my books.

There isn’t much that Gayle doesn’t know about Spanish cuisine and she tests and tries every recipe, whether traditional or new. Iain is the photographer, and his pictures are enough to make one’s mouth water. Their knowledge of Spanish cookware, cured meats and customs is breath-taking and I heartily recommend their website, OrceSerannoHams.com.

I’ve been asked many, many times for a collection of Spanish recipes, and here it is... I hope you enjoy them as much as Joe and I do.

Victoria

Quiet village? Huh!

Sat, 5 Nov 2011 14:00:08 +0100

Firstly, I must thank the dozens of kind people who sent me emails of congratulations when 'Two Old Fools - Olé!' appeared on Amazon a couple of weeks ago. Thank you so much, and I'm sorry I couldn't reply to you all individually. I read and enjoyed each one hugely, thank you, especially the chatty ones, and the one with the picture of Dennis the Bionic Dog. (see pic)

Why does everything always happen all at once? This month has been crazy... So what’s been happening?

1) The village fiesta. This is never a quiet affair. For the whole weekend, processions marched past our front door, (see pic) fireworks exploded and the dancing in the square carried on until 6 o’clock in the morning. We’re still finding rocket sticks in our garden and the chickens have gone on strike, flatly refusing to lay. Frankly, I don’t blame them. I couldn’t lay an egg with that noise going on.

2) ‘Two Old Fools - Olé!’ was released. The telephone never stops ringing and my email inbox is full to overflowing. The paperback edition will follow shortly, but the Kindle edition is already doing astonishingly well. Thank you, kind readers!

3) The Gin Twins came for their annual visit. Of course they were as badly behaved as ever, (see pics) and I dread to think how many bottles of gin they consumed between them. But we had a blast. We went exploring villages, got lost numerous times, lazed by a friend’s pool, played Rude Scrabble and ate and drank far too much. My face still aches from laughing.

4) Mysterious water started trickling out of the workshop wall. Joe investigated and smashed up a bunch of floor tiles, then dug into the wall until he found the cause. A piece of copper piping had developed a hole and the water must have been trickling gaily for weeks, judging by the state of the wall. Our house walls are a metre thick and made of stones and mud, and the whole area is saturated. It’ll take a few weeks to dry out but at least it’s not inside the house.

5) Workmen appeared in the village. I thought they’d come to take down the fiesta lights and bunting, but no, I was wrong. Instead, they’ve been noisily digging random holes in the street outside our house. Our water is cut off at intervals, always when somebody is in the shower all soaped up, or when we’ve been digging in the garden (or workshop floor) and desperate to wash our hands.

So, I offer a piece of friendly advice. If you’ve been toying with the idea of moving to rural Spain for some peace and quiet, perhaps you should reconsider. Living in a remote Spanish mountain village is not necessarily the undisturbed, tranquil lifestyle you may have imagined...

Do join me on Facebook to find out how we’re coping, day to day.

Finally released, Two Old Fools - Olé! - the sequel to ‘Chickens’.

Fighting over thongs

Tue, 27 Sep 2011 18:53:03 +0200

I always thought writing would be a gentle pastime. Sitting at a desk, fingers busily tapping the keyboard, ideas flowing from mind to computer in a steady creative stream. But it’s not like that in our household.

Living in a tiny village in Spain is definitely inspirational. I can work undisturbed, gazing out onto the mountains between paragraphs. No sounds apart from the Fish Van arriving, or Uncle Felix’s mule clattering through the streets. No distractions, right? Wrong, I’m afraid.
For example:
“Vicky! Come and see this eagle,” Joe calls, and I abandon everything and race to look. We're not expert enough to identify it, but to watch an eagle wheeling in the endless, blue sky over the mountain tops is a joy and a privilege. (Thanks for the pic, Kiersten Rowland.)
Or:
“Vicky! Paco’s just given me this huge bag of vegetables. What shall we do with them?” I turn away from the computer to admire the glossy red and green peppers. Then I search for recipes that require these delicious ingredients, my manuscript abandoned.
I sigh. Maybe I can get on with the writing in the quiet of the evening? No. When darkness falls, the guitars come out and our neighbours fill the street, laughing, shouting and hand-clapping to the strains of Flamenco. We love it, but, yet again, the manuscript is neglected.
And then there are the battles. Joe is my Editor in Chief, and every word I write is checked and scrutinised by him.
“I don’t like that chapter,” he says. “It needs re-writing. And why don’t you use the word ‘palisaded’ here?”
“Palisaded? Why should I use words that people might need to check in the dictionary?” I say, reaching for the dictionary.
“And this part isn’t clear. You need to explain why the ladies' thongs are up the tree.”
“I did! Read the next bit!”
So we bicker and argue, and further writing is pushed aside once more. However, miraculously, ‘Two Old Fools - Olé’ is nearly finished. My target is to get it out in time for Christmas, even though the village and Joe seem to be conspiring against me.
Oh, and in case you’re wondering - Joe won. The word ‘palisaded’ appears in chapter 22. And what did we do with all the red and green peppers? Well, some went into a vegetable and ham tortilla (Pic 3 above, recipe below). Delicious! Some went into salads, some were baked in the oven. The remainder went into the chickens.

Do join me on Facebook to find out how we’re coping, day to day.

Coming soon, Two Old Fools - Olé! - the sequel to ‘Chickens’.

Book News
I hope the Kindle edition of ‘Two Old Fools - Olé!’ is going to be ready in October, and the paperback edition will follow. The manuscript is now with the proofreader (be gentle with me, Mindy), and the cover is just awaiting some quotes to be added. Here is how it looks at the moment...

I am a silly old fool. Sorry!

Tue, 30 Aug 2011 18:35:32 +0200

“Good!” I said to Joe. “That’s August’s Village Updates newsletter sent out to everybody. Now I can relax. Pour me a nice glass of something cold and alcoholic, please, I’m ready for it.”

But within an hour of sending it out, my email inbox started filling up. I include a Spanish recipe every month, and I’d missed out an important stage.

“Hi Victoria, Your Sherried Chorizo recipe this month sounds yummy, and I assume you add the chorizo into the sauce. But at what stage in the process?” wrote Ann.

“I’m confused,” wrote Maria.

So here it is again, with the vital stage included this time...

Spanish Recipe of the Month - Sherried Chorizo

This chorizo tapas recipe is incredibly easy and quick to make and is packed full of flavour. Use spicy chorizos for a fiery kick, accompanied with fino de Jerez sherry. The flavour combination works really well and creates great tapas for the summer.
You will need:
3 Chorizo sausages
1 Spanish onion, diced
3 garlic cloves, chopped
½ teaspoon hot paprika
250ml fino de Jerez sherry
Parsley
Cracked black pepper
Olive oil
Method:
Lightly fry the onion in olive oil until it begins to brown.
Meanwhile slice the chorizo into half inch pieces, and add to the softened onions in the pan.
Fry for a further couple of minutes.
Add the garlic, paprika and sherry to the onion and chorizo and cook until the sherry is reduced.
Add a cup of warm water then simmer for 10 minutes.
When the mixture has thickened add the parsley, season with pepper and stir well.
Serve on tapas plates with fresh crusty bread and peppered vine tomatoes with olive oil.
Makes 6 tapas

If you’d like a Village Updates newsletter, which includes a Spanish recipe and automatic entry into the monthly draw, please email me or click on the Free Stuff page.

Chicken versus Cat. Who won?

Sun, 10 Jul 2011 11:16:39 +0200

Well, we made it back to our village in Spain. We’ve been away working in the Middle East for a whole year, so you can imagine what the garden looked like. And the house smelled damp, with disgusting furry clumps of mould decorating the walls.

We left our six elderly chickens a year ago in the capable hands of our neighbour Paco, but when we returned, only one remained. Poor Paco was most apologetic, but we knew the chickens were old. So Susio, who out-lived all her sisters, is allowed to roam freely, poor lonely soul.

The village cats remembered us immediately as though we’d never been away. I put some milk out for Gravy and her sister Sylvia, both clearly pregnant. Susio the Chicken was most interested and headed for the milk, too.

So who got the milk? Watch the video for the answer. :)

Victoria

P.S. We plan to get some more chickens next week.

Well, we HAD to have coffee here...

Sat, 2 Jul 2011 10:54:32 +0200

The final goodbyes weren’t easy, but we locked up our apartment, handed the keys in and took a taxi to the airport. We only had to pass through one checkpoint near the airport and the police waved us straight through, so no delay there.

So we left the sticky heat of Bahrain and climbed aboard our plane to the UK. Two hours in Heathrow (what an awful place!) and then a plane to Madrid. The highlight of the hour in Madrid Airport was definitely ordering coffee here. Haha! What were the owners thinking? Don’t they research names before they decide?

Actually, the coffee was surprisingly good...

We’ve had enough!

Wed, 29 Jun 2011 18:30:57 +0200

Can you believe it? Our very last update from Bahrain! Boxes have already been shipped back to Spain and I’m knee deep in lists, more lists and lists of lists.

We’ve had our last day at the school. The students finished their finals, emptied their lockers and exploded out of the school gates screaming hysterically, revelling in the long-awaited freedom of the summer ahead. We followed, but for us it was excitement tinged with sadness. We’ve made so many friends and we’ll see very few of them again.

Apart from packing, we’ve been visiting the places in Bahrain that we’d meant to see, but hadn’t managed to fit in; being under house-arrest during the protests in February and March, and school obligations severely cramped our movements.

Of course we had to see the King’s camels, all 450 of them. Joe moaned all the way (“Once you’ve seen one camel, you’ve seen the lot...”) but even he had to admit that my favourite camel, who I named Camilla, was rather gorgeous. Surely His Highness wouldn’t notice if I smuggled her back to Spain? I could introduce her to Uncle Felix’s mule.

So what have we learned during this year in the Middle East? So much!

(Apologies, but yet another list...)
1) Individually, the Arab people are friendly, generous and respectful.
2) When people tell you you’re entering a peaceful country, never believe them.
3) The Sunni/Shi’ite divide is far deeper than we ever imagined.(Pic 3)
4) In temperatures of 48C (118F) it’s hard to function normally.
5) We never want to teach again.
6) Never leave your windows open during a sandstorm.

Soon we’ll be in our crazy little village of El Hoyo, nestled in the Alpujarra mountains of Andalucia. Instead of military helicopters, we’ll hear birdsong. Instead of loudspeakers calling the devout to prayer, we’ll hear our chickens clucking and Uncle Felix’s mule trotting through the village looking for her beloved master. Living in the Kingdom of Bahrain will become a memory, but the chapter is not quite closed. I’m bursting with stories to tell about life in the Middle East and there`s easily enough material for a third book...

The mighty Pearl Monument crumbles

Sat, 19 Mar 2011 19:18:02 +0100

I apologise. There is no humour in this blog, just resignation and sadness.

When we arrived in the Kingdom of Bahrain last year, we were taken on a guided tour. We were shown the most famous, iconic sculpture on the island, the Pearl Monument, towering into the blue sky in the middle of a huge roundabout. The sculpture represented the importance of pearls to Bahrain’s economy before the discovery of oil in 1932.

We gasped and admired; it was gorgeous. The snowy slopes of the columns supporting the giant pearl against the cloudless sky was truly breathtaking. At night it was equally beautiful, lit up against the starlit desert night.

Then, on the 14th February 2011, the protesters arrived, and the roundabout (wrongly called Pearl Square by the media) became their headquarters. The authorities tried to forcibly evict them using tear-gas and live ammunition, and lives were lost. The protesters regrouped and violence escalated on both sides. The authorities withdrew and a small town sprang up on the roundabout. Tents were erected housing protesters and their families, generators, shops, all the things that support a community. The Pearl Monument had become the symbol of the protests.

When the Saudi troops arrived, the roundabout was cleared. Some protesters set fire to their own tents and used molotov cocktails, and the police and militia were equally violent. More lives were lost from both sides.

So it was with sadness, but no surprise, that we heard that the proud monument which had witnessed such violence and sorrow was demolished yesterday in the dead of night. No longer would it remind the islanders of what had happened beneath its shadow. The proud giant toppled and lay in broken pieces on the same ground where corpses had been stretched out so recently.

Do join me on Facebook to find out how we’re coping, day to day.

Shedding tears for Bahrain

Sat, 12 Mar 2011 16:09:38 +0100

Hello Everybody,
First of all, we are absolutely fine! Please don't worry. Joe and I have been overwhelmed by the kind emails, tweets and messages from dozens of people; readers, friends and family - all very concerned about us.

What silly old fools we are! Of all the places to choose... the Kingdom of Bahrain! Apologies for this tardy (and NOT amusing) update, but the unrest here has almost killed the Internet making tweeting and Facebooking extremely difficult.

Old Fools' News from the troubled Middle East

What a month! As you all know, we left our beloved Spanish village to work in the Middle East for one year, teaching at an International school. Many people had hardly heard of the Kingdom of Bahrain, then, on Valentine’s Day it catapulted to top BBC and CNN news topics.

The Muslim community in Bahrain is either Sunni or Shi'ite and most of the time they co-exist very happily. For instance, our school is Sunni owned but the Muslim pupils and staff are a mixture of Sunni and Shi'ite. This Sunni/Shi'ite mix usually poses no problem in Bahrain. However, the majority of the population is Shi’ite and unhappy that the Government is largely Sunni, arguing that the Sunnis get the best jobs and preferential treatment. Small protests flare up sometimes, with tyre-burning being the most common occurrence. (Now I understand those black, doughnut-shaped stains on the road!)

But on the 14th February, a huge anti-Government protest (mostly Shi'ite and fired up by recent Egyptian events) was organised at the Pearl Roundabout, which is about 3 miles from us. Kids in my class told me they were going to join it with their families. The protest gathered momentum and the police tried to disperse it with tear-gas and rubber bullets. One protester was killed. The next day, a public holiday for the Prophet Mohamed's birthday, the funeral procession took place. More clashes, and more deaths.

The crowd at the Pearl Roundabout swelled to thousands, whole families arriving, many with tents.

On the 17th, we woke to hear the shocking news that the Pearl Roundabout crowd had been attacked and dispersed in a pre-dawn raid. More deaths. Tanks and armoured personnel carriers arrived. Highways were road-blocked. Our school opened but hardly any children turned up. We became accustomed to constant helicopter activity above and the wailing of police sirens.

On the 18th, there was a massive rally at the Grand Mosque and it was totally peaceful. 300,000 people turned out, and it was a joyous, flag-waving demonstration of the people’s love for Bahrain. Joe and I know, because we were there.

But it didn't last. Another shocking attack at the Pearl Roundabout, this time the military using live ammunition on protesters. More deaths. Bahrain went to bed mourning.

So, the the little island of Bahrain has become divided. Most are loyal to the King, but few support the Prime Minister who is fabulously rich, has been in office for decades and is the King’s uncle. Protest marches occur daily, some ending in tear-gas and ugliness. The Crown Prince is attempting to open up dialogue and we all hope that the talks cure the problems before more lives are lost.

So, thank you all for your thoughts, but please don't worry. We signed contracts to teach in the Middle East for one year, but that may well be cut short. If the unrest here escalates, and the British Embassy advise us to, Joe and I are on the next plane back to Spain... No question.

Do join me on Facebook to find out how we’re coping, day to day.

Wills and Kate and Chickens

Fri, 26 Nov 2010 05:37:27 +0100

Thank you, Paul Hamilton! (aka @HamsteratFrys)
Your ‘photos’ never fail to make me roar with laughter!

Two Old Fools go Shopping

Sat, 30 Oct 2010 06:32:16 +0200

October is the month for stock-piling firewood in our little Spanish village of El Hoyo. Evenings are very cool, and by the end of the month Joe and I would be lighting the wood-burning stove nightly. Not so here in the Kingdom of Bahrain where, for just one year, we’re working as teachers in an International School. For the first time in six years, we don’t need to think about logs.

Here in Bahrain, clothes are a problem. The showing of arms and shoulders is unacceptable but neither is it comfortable to wear too much, even in October. The clothes I brought with me from Spain are too warm, or too short-sleeved, and I needed some more to wear to school.

The shopping malls in Bahrain are beautiful; huge, lavish, marbled affairs packed with clothes stores, so I didn’t think refreshing my wardrobe would be a big problem. Wrong.

I’m not a city gal, and I don’t enjoy shopping. Reluctantly I put a day aside to hunt down some new outfits. With Joe trailing behind me, I rifled through racks and racks of clothes, trying to find something suitable. To my surprise, everything on display was low-cut, skimpy, glittery or a combination of all three. Rack after rack of strumpet-wear. How is that possible when Muslim ladies are dressed from head to toe in black, with only their faces (or just eyes) showing? Who buys these clothes?

We deduced something that day. Outwardly, Muslim ladies are the picture of anonymity and decorum, but underneath those veils...who knows what saucy show-girls are lurking?

And these ladies, all dressed in black, posed yet another problem for me this month. It was Parents Evening at school, and the Principal gave an introductory speech. The rows of mothers, all veiled and dressed in black, listened intently. Then the Principal invited parents to introduce themselves individually to us teachers. Soon there was a long queue of black robes waiting to speak to me.

“How is my little Mohamed doing?” asked the first mother.

I couldn’t see enough of her face to work out a family resemblance, plus I have at least five Mohameds in every class. Which of them belonged to this lady? I struggled.

“How is my little Mohamed doing?” asked the second mother.

By the time I had reached the fourth, my reply had been perfected.

“Mohamed’s doing fine,” I’d answer. “Lovely chap, bit chatty - but when he applies himself he can really do well...”

Do join me on Facebook to find out how
we’re coping, day to day.

Spain to Bahrain - What’s it really like?

Sat, 2 Oct 2010 05:19:56 +0200

So here we are in the Kingdom of Bahrain, one of the Gulf states, and rubbing our eyes in disbelief. So much to tell!

I can only give you the briefest of glimpses in this blog but can assure you I have a bulging notebook of material for my third book, bursting to be told... But I must discipline myself and finish the ‘Chickens’ sequel first.

I get asked the question every day: “What is it really like, living and teaching in the Middle East?” No short answer, but as a chronic list-maker, (my nickname is Schindler) I’ll try and convey our first impressions.

* The heat. Imagine Spain in high summer and multiply it by 1000. The apartment is cool, thanks to A/C, and when you flush the toilet, the water is so hot it steams.

* Sand. No hills, no birds (apart from some exhausted-looking pigeons) no animals, no insects, no trees, no flowers, no weeds, no earth. Just sand. Skyscrapers and neon lights rising out of the desert.

* Ramadan. Ramadan is the 9th month of the Muslim year, a period of strict fasting. Nobody eats, or even sips water, between dawn and sunset. We had to wait for the top Islamic cleric to announce enough of the waxing crescent moon was visible to the naked eye for Ramadan to be declared over. Until then, Joe and I were forced to hide in cupboards to sneakily drink water.

* Bewildering Arabic etiquette. Never compliment an arab about a possession or he’ll be obliged to give it to you. Never offer anything with your left hand. Ladies, always cover yourself up. And many more...

* The school. Run as a business. Teachers and staff queue to clock in at 7.00 am and out again at 2.30pm. Spies in every classroom and corridor. (Yes, spies.)

* The pupils. Mostly boys, mostly called Mohammed. Easy to learn names, but I suspect Parents Evening will be confusing.

And we thought moving from England to Spain was a culture shock?

Do join me on Facebook to find out how we’re coping,
day to day.

Two Old Fools on a Camel?

Wed, 11 Aug 2010 18:06:59 +0200

Firstly - I want to thank the many, many lovely people who I’ve ‘met’ online. I belong to lots of forums, and I’m a Twitter addict. I have a favourite Gang on Twitter (you know who you are!) heaps of other friends and I’ve often laughed ‘til I cried...

Many others have kindly bought my book, and either left super
Amazon reviews or emailed or messaged me. What nice
people you are! Yes, I’m writing the sequel to ‘Chickens’ now.
The working title is ‘Two Old Fools - Olé!’ It won’t be ready for
a few months though.

So why the camel? Why this blog entry?

Because life for Joe and I is about to change.

My big news is that Joe and I have just signed contracts to go and teach in Bahrain for a year. We leave on the 20th August. So we’re having to lock up our house and leave paradise, our beloved little Spanish village of El Hoyo. I have a tight band round my chest even thinking about it. We’ve found great homes for the kittens and Paco next door is going to care for the chickens.

It’s only for a year, but I’m already missing our life in Spain… We haven’t taught for years and never even visited Bahrain. (I had to check the Atlas to find out exactly where it was!) Never mind, it’s only for 1 year, it’ll be an adventure and probably fodder for a third book - ‘Two Old Fools on a Camel’, or something...

Victoria

P.S. I shall carry on Tweeting from Bahrain, both as @StephenFrysCat
and @VictoriaTwead.
And the monthly Newsletter will continue.
And so will the monthly book Giveaway.

Stephen Fry, Tony Benn and Chickens

Tue, 10 Aug 2010 12:55:23 +0200

Hurrah! ‘Chickens is finally out on Kindle. And you don’t even have to own a Kindle... If you prefer to read it on an iPad, Android, iPhone, pdf, Backberry, Mac or whatever, you can download it in 60 seconds.

It’s on Amazon.com where you can order it from anywhere in the world, and Barnes & Noble Nook, and now it’s available on Amazon UK as well.

I love the imaginative ‘photo’ below of Stephen Fry unveiling his new iPad, but I also LOVE this snapshot of the Amazon Memoirs Bestsellers. ‘Chickens’ is standing on Tony Benn’s head...

How to stop kittens climbing trees

Thu, 15 Jul 2010 08:42:38 +0200

For those who have been following the story of our three foster kittens, they are thriving... They get naughtier every day, climb our grapevine and are generally a nuisance. (Try sweeping the patio with three kittens hanging on the broom!)

Climbing the grapevine may not seem a serious issue, but it is. The vine means access to the rooftops, and that way, into the village. The village is full of dogs, and now that it’s summer, children. Joe and I are afraid that the kittens will get lost, or picked up by children and taken away.

So I invented the Anti-Tree-Climbing-Device, patent pending. It’s worked so far, but we know it’s just a question of time before they get out of the garden.

The two little sisters, Milly and Mia are waiting to be flown to their new home in Germany. As for the runt of the litter, little Choccy-Paws (the kitten on the right), well, we’re keeping him. He's such an affectionate, funny little character, we can't bear to part with him. Yes, he’s staying with us!